An on scene reporter for Hobby Airport area news stations has been admonished for erroneously reporting names of airline personnel involved in the crash of a Chinese passenger airliner...Faced with the pressure of an on-air deadline, Lefty listed the names of four of the aircrew as, "Sum Ting Wong," "Wi Tu Lo," "Ho Lee Fuk," and "Bang Ding Ow"...
Following mandatory racial sensitivity re-training, Lefty will be reassigned as social event correspondent at the Braniff Street bath house where he is employed as a part-time men's room attendant...
Recognizing the importance of accurate reporting and trying to suck up to the Assignments Editor, Guusma Heine, Lefty compiled the following report on the fashion show at the Cut'N'Shoot WalMart on his way back from his weekly urinal polishing chores at the Patton Village Poofter Emporium...
Update: As part of reporter Lefty's mandatory retraining, he was required to learn the difference between the Asiatic ethnicities...The four names he originally reported were obviously Chinese names and unlikely to be accurate since the airline involved was Korean...Lefty has submitted the following corrected names, Park Ma Plen Tu-Soon and Ha Yu Lan Dis Tang, as the real pilots of the doomed aircraft...Lefty apologizes for any inconvenience, or incontinence...
Lefty's investigation also shows that the premature reports of a drunken cockpit orgy were misleading...As RHM says, "Any landing where I didn't end up on the bottom is a good landing"...
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