Local business owner and perennial Presidential candidate Phillbo inadvertently helped in the record setting free-fall from space recently...Phillbo, who operates a well known trampoline tuning company, was putting the final touches on a large trampoline at a lesbian nudist camp when the emergency call came in...
A frantic FAA spokesman explained to Phillbo that a privately owned space capsule returning from resupplying the International Poofter Station (IPS), and possibly piloted by a towel boy named Lefty who may have taken along a thermos of Hamm's beer by mistake, had accidentally veered into the flight path of a Google executive making a world record attempt...The resulting course change for the parachutist put his new landing zone in the vicinity of the lesbian nudist camp...
Phillbo responded as a true professional, and calmly readjusted the trampoline tension for maximum allowable tension while positioning it in the coordinates given by the FAA official...Then quickly donning his own wingsuit, he hitched a ride with some Hooters waitresses going airborne for a group skydive...
As the world record jumper approached the landing zone, Phillbo calculated his movements and leaped from the plane, guiding himself toward the parachutist with his wingsuit until he was able to position both of them in the correct trajectory...Phillbo's long experience and quick thinking paid off as they both hit the huge trampoline at the same time, and somersaulted onto two barstools at the resort's outdoor nudist refreshment center just in time for the lesbian bartender to place a cold adult beverage and a fruit smoothie in front of them...
The nude bartender was later kind enough to don a bikini and recreate the scene (shown below) for the cameras...
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