Sunday, October 19, 2014

Sweden steps up hunt for 'foreign underwater activity'...

http://www.smh.com.au/world/sweden-steps-up-hunt-for-foreign-underwater-activity-20141019-1189vi.html

Using a clever investigative technique, Swedish police have sprung a trap for international poofter fugitive, Ifar Toften...Norwegian born Toften has been on the run for many years to avoid facing morals charges in his native country, but Sweden has a court date with him also...

Inspector Lefty of INTERPOOF, the multi-national gay crimes investigative agency, explains, "Ifar Toften is wanted for questioning in an ongoing case of smuggling IKEA bedsheets out of Sweden without paying the stiff tariff...They are the preferred bedlinen of homos everywhere, and this knobsucker has financed his flight from justice by smuggling them across international borders"...

Inspector Lefty said he would begin his search by questioning all known blonde, in-shape lesbians between the ages of 18 and 30, thereby eliminating them from suspicion...He went on to explain that his methods may be unorthodox, but he is always thorough...

The tough international detective said the plan went into effect when Swedish Navy sonar picked up unusual underwater activity in the hot tubs frequented by Swedish sailors in military bath houses...Since Mr. Toften is known to have a weakness for playing "submarine" with gay sailors, it was suspected he was at the bottom of this furtive hot tub activity...

Periscopes have now been installed in all Navy hot tubs to monitor unusual activity, and reports will be sent to Inspector Lefty every evening in a diplomatic pouch along with his daily supply of Akvavit...The inspector said his many years of experience as an undercover towel boy will enable him to blend right in at the lesbian bath houses...

He stated that it is too early to predict a quick arrest, but vowed, "I'll find this homo if I have to question every lesbo at every nudist camp in Sweden...Twice"...Inspector Lefty is shown below on security cam footage beginning his cover operation as a hot tub temperature technician in a lesbian spa...

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