The results of a court-ordered psychiatric examination are in for newly arrived Armenian lesbian masseuse, Tesla D...Tesla's last name cannot be pronounced by Western tongues without developing a severe, permanent stutter, thus she is known by her first name and her room designation where she is employed by the Hobby Airport Bath House & Poofter Emporium...
A mental exam was ordered with noted psychiatrist/proctologist Dr. Tchytz (who is said to cure crazy at both ends) when Tesla began to exhibit signs of emotional imbalance...The first occurrence was when she commented on how handsome and virile-looking a towel boy named Lefty was...
It was first thought that she merely had poor taste in men, but then she commented on how sexy and alluring she found the squeaky, annoying voice of midget, lesbian security guard, Deputy Dumpy Bunny...On hearing this, bath house management ordered a complete psychiatric examination...
In a press release from Chief of Security Big "Tiny" Balsac it was said, "We figured anyone who thinks those two have any appeal at all, has got to be a few bricks short of a load...She's got a million dollar rack, but a 29 cent brain, and Dr. Tchytz's exam confirms it"...
Dr. Tchytz reports that Tesla's dementia is not likely to turn violent as long as she is kept medicated with a strong sedative such as Le Voyager Ⓡ Cabbage Cider or Pinecone Wine, both of which Dr. Tchytz stocks as an exclusive distributor in his Braniff Street Gender Reassignment Clinic & Bait Shop...Towel boy lefty has volunteered to administer the recommended dosage for her to prevent over-medication...
Bath house senior management was pleased with the results, as Tesla has proved to be a valuable employee, especially since she has not completely mastered the US/Armenian currency exchange rate, and accepts her pay in post-dated IOU's...Lefty also helps her make sure her tip jar (shown below) doesn't become over-stuffed which he tells her would be a violation of OSHA safety rules...
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