Dr. Lefty of the Lesbian Propulsion Laboratory reports the accidental destruction of an experimental pair of Jockey shorts designed to withstand the rigors of space travel after a lunch visit to a local Taco Bell...Dr. Lefty said, "Astronaut RHM was authorized to wear the Depends-style undies in a test to see if they will stand up to the pressures developed by a chili burrito diet"...
Seconds after RHM had washed down his fourth green chili burrito with a Mountain Dew refill, the overpressure alarm began to sound within his pants...Following his training, RHM quickly stripped off the drawers and flung them over his shoulder while running for cover...
Unfortunately the loaded underwear landed in the Taco Bell deep fryer, triggering a Level 3 emergency to be declared by the EPA...It was later determined that RHM had included the unauthorized addition of some leftover Jack In The Box onion rings from his breakfast when he consumed the Taco Bell lunch...
Dr. Lefty reports that after his release from the Ben Taub burn clinic, RHM will be transferred to an undisclosed location for re-education in underwear safety procedures...
Shown below are the prototype skivvies with mandatory warning labels, and the required containment packaging...
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