Amusement ride manager Lefty of the Hobby Airport Bath House & Poofter Emporium is not happy about the newly named Weights & Measures Director of Mayor Parker's Bath House Safety Commission...Lefty explains, "There is a maximum weight limit and a maximum schlong length in the Poofter Regulations before anyone can ride the water slide in the hot tub room...
Lefty added that unregulated water slides are said to lead to collapse by overweight poofters, or over-length schlongs can be snagged on the escalator to the top...As Lefty stated, "If these fat homos would stay away from the all-you-can-eat pizza buffets and throw away their penis pumps, there wouldn't be a problem"...
The new Director, Babs Bagsofun, who became a well-known lesbian activist after dating Lefty briefly, said in her acceptance speech, "It's well known that some of the water slide operators are taking bribes from overweight clients to let them show off in front of their poofter boyfriends"...Not one to pull punches, she stated for the record that Lefty has been reprimanded after being caught with bribe money in his thong...
Lefty fired back, "She's only mad because everyone laughed when she couldn't find bowling shoes big enough for her feet when we were paired up in the Nude Team Bowling Tournament"...Lefty says he personally weighs each rider and measures each schlong before the rider is allowed to enter...
Lefty also could not immediately explain the bathroom scale which stopped at anything over 275 pounds, or the metric tape measure found in his locker...He finally said they were items he brought to donate to the next bath house rummage sale...
Lefty's activities will be closely watched as Director Bagsofun has hired off-duty midget lesbian Deputy Dumpy Bunny to ensure his strict compliance with the rules...The deputy rarely speaks due to the laughter that ensues because of her squeaky voice, but will wear a large police whistle (and little else) when in the hot tub area...The whistle, and probably several poofters, are expected to be blown often...
The deputy is pictured below practicing her pucker prior to going on duty...
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