California's Governor "Moonbeam" Brown seemed to have experienced an epiphany this week while relaxing in a hot tub during a high-level conference at the Hobby Airport Bath House & Poofter Emporium...While enjoying the company of poofter Democrat supporters, and watching early Linda Ronstadt music videos on his iPad in the bubbling hot water, the Governor noticed a strange probe slowly rising to the surface and approaching him...
The oddly shaped probe had a bent tip on the end, reminding the Governor of a submarine's periscope...Suddenly remembering that he hadn't fully vetted the campaign contribution he had just accepted from the bath house management, he quickly retrieved the check from his purse and destroyed it in the government issued shredder he always carries...
At this point, hot tub attendant and towel boy Lefty appeared through the steamy bubbles, revealing that the probe was his own protuberance with its oddly bent tip, the result of a hasty departure from his girlfriend's home after her husband's unexpected return...Lefty explained he was on the bottom of the tub, making his usual rounds looking for change which might have fallen out of the clients' thongs...
The relieved Governor then tried to retrieve the shredded check, but found only confetti...The bath house accountant was unable to replace the check due to a shortage of blank checks, but offered the Governor an IOU after deducting the customary "lost check fees"...
The Governor later claimed at a press conference that he may have become disoriented by the memory of an earlier hot tub conference, during which he observed Hillary Clinton wearing a snorkel emerging from below the surface where she was on a fact-finding excursion between Sarah Palin's legs...The Governor offered a handout press photo of that scene (shown below) as evidence...
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