Consumer advisor Lefty warns that this move by Taco Bell will increase the likelihood of deadly "sneaker" emissions from their clientele...Studies from the Lesbian Propulsion Laboratory show that increasing the explosive power in bean-generated emissions while lowering the noise level can lead to disastrous results in locker rooms and hot tub areas during lunchtime...
According to Lefty, "How can these fat homos tip their towel boys properly when they're passed out on the floor from the deadly fumes?"...Lefty advises further study before okaying the new menu, "I'll feed some of the new egg and bean burritos to the smelly old dude next to the bath house, then I'll monitor the vital signs of his babe of a daughter"...
In addition, the EPA has issued a new warning in concern for rising levels of deadly taco dioxide...Lefty has applied for a research grant from the Obama administration to finance the study...
Shown below is the overworked exhaust fan from the locker room of the Hobby Airport Bath House & Poofter Emporium just after lunchtime...
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