A suspected bank robber was detained by police after crucial evidence fell out of his pants while being interviewed...Tentatively identified by police only as "Lefty," the suspect was loudly proclaiming his innocence when a loaded potato resembling those found in Luby's Cafeteria serving lines fell from his pants...
The incident began as a suspect, described by witnesses as "confused and stinky," fled from a bank lobby, and attempted to evade capture by going through Luby's Cafeteria during the lunch rush...An alert cashier grabbed him by the hair and tied him to the condiments cabinet with a knotted napkin until police took him into custody...
Lefty said in his statement that he had an appointment to make a deposit in the nearby sperm bank, and mistakenly walked into the wrong kind of bank...He said he quickly realized his error and tried to leave in a hurry, but accidentally picked up some pens from the courtesy desk...
A midget, lesbian Precinct 0 deputy on duty as a bank guard, identified in the report as Deputy Dumpy Bunny, gave pursuit but her short legs didn't allow her to keep up with the fleeing suspect...Calling for backup, she observed Lefty take the loaded potato from the Luby's lunch counter, and assumed it was intended for use as a weapon...
The midget deputy was later seen coming out of the detention room where she had been interrogating Lefty alone, but could not immediately explain why her uniform pants were on backwards and her bra was hanging from her gun belt...Lefty later claimed the lipstick seen on his trousers zipper was only ketchup from the serving line incident...
Suspect Lefty's weapon is shown below in an evidence photo...
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