Professor Lefty of the Institute for Advanced Lesbian Studies reports an important new find at the dig site around Stonedbinge...Known for decades to be an ancient holy ground for the ceremonial smoking of aromatic hemp plants, the professor says a new use by the ancients may have been unearthed...
Prof Lefty explains, "My assistant, Dr. RHM, was clearing ground for a new latrine for use by the research team after the previous facility became contaminated, when he uncovered a stone floor...While clearing it, he discovered several pieces of what appeared to be petrified soap bars"...This is when it dawned on him that he had discovered a prehistoric shower room...
Early bath house history may be advanced by centuries with the importance of this find...Further excavation has already revealed stone massage tables and earthenware tip jars possibly used by prehistoric poofters...
Professor Lefty added, "We already had knowledge that early homos used towels woven from indigenous plant life, but this is the first we knew that the buttslappers also smoked it"...The professor referred to several small "roaches" found in the ancient towel boys' locker room, which he said would be preserved in an airtight Hellman's Mayonaise jar for his own personal research...
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