Friday, October 10, 2014

North Korea’s Kim Jong-un reportedly misses key celebration due to 'pulled tendon'...

Update: 

http://www.foxnews.com/world/2014/10/10/north-koreas-kim-jong-uns-absence-fuels-speculation-about-health-coup/

Reports gathered from Red China by this news analyst indicate that Chinese towel boy, Lef Ti, pulled not only Kim Jong-un's tendon, but a protuberance and its attached glands, plus used an extendable probe in a detailed cavity search in his efforts to avoid a nuclear showdown...In addition to relaxing the North Korean poofter leader's anxiety level, Lef Ti may also have succeeded in relaxing some strict importation rules concerning Taco Bell green chili burritos...

The NK government announced today that those individuals caught with the contraband will not face castration as before, but only hard labor in a North Korean laundry facility...In addition, the contraband is to be brought before Kim Jong-un himself for closer, personal inspection...

The series of small explosions detected by seismic recorders in US spy satellites were reported by a North Korean spokesman as relating to the relief of Kim Jong-un's jockey-area overpressure ailment followed by a gastric distress valve opening after the poofter leader's sampling of a spicy foreign cuisine...

Lef Ti is said to have reported to the Beijing People's Poofter Collective in his new job as Head Towel Boy, a position with no salary increase, but a higher percentage of tip jar proceeds...Waving goodbye to a satisfied client (seen below,) Lef Ti was heard to mutter, "Cheap homo leave IOU in tip jar again!"...

No comments:

Post a Comment

Comments are welcome...Malicious messages and spam attempts will be removed...Keep it clean and let's have fun...