President Obama has announced his choice to lead the fight against Epoofa, the widely spreading bath house disease that has now infected poofters worldwide...The President has chosen the world's foremost expert in lesbian behavior, Professor Lefty of the Institute for Advanced Lesbian Studies...
The President made his announcement speaking from behind a bulletproof towel at the Hobby Airport Bath House & Poofter Emporium, while on a fundraising trip for embattled lesbo Houston mayor, Annise Parker...Secret Service agents were stationed inside the facility, but could be spotted easily as they carried their weapons, badges, communication equipment and lunches concealed in their government issued thongs...
Mayor Parker's security detail was headed by midget lesbian Deputy Dumpy Bunny of Precinct 0 on loan to the Hobby Airport Poofter Police...The Mayor began the press meeting by introducing the President with a short speech and a playful slap on his exposed posterior...
The President then spoke of the baffling disease which so far has only infected poofters, lesbians and undecided transgenders...He said the strange disorder is only known to be transmitted by internet contact when homosexuals exchange gay porn videos in gay/lesbian chat rooms, but cannot be passed when the porn is on celluloid film, or by direct contact with each other...
The President said that Professor Lefty has come up with the brilliant idea to have all known gay/lesbo porn transferred to celluloid film for screening by poofters in all airports while they wait for their patdowns and body cavity searches by TSA employees...Mr. Obama went on to say that the limited trials conducted by the professor in airports have resulted in no new infections...
Professor Lefty also spoke at the press conference saying, "All these fat homos want is some entertainment while they wait in line naked to get groped by the TSA before they board their flights, and old-fashioned film is the safest way to do it"...The professor then went on to vow to eradicate this baffling disease if he has to personally inspect every lesbian nudist camp in the country...
After the meeting, it was announced that the President would spend some time in individual private meetings with some of the more influential and attractive Democrat poofters in attendance...Mayor Parker and Deputy Dumpy Bunny attended a group security debriefing with the nudist lesbian contingent...
Pictured below is the President and his Secret Service bodyguards arriving at the bath house entrance...
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