Arrested and handcuffed on suspicion of abandoning his duty at a popular bath house, chief towel boy, Lefty, said he was making his usual locker inspection in the Hobby Airport Bath House & Poofter Emporium when the alarm sounded in the men's room signaling an exhaust fan overload...Lefty contends the responsibility for evacuating the toilet areas should be placed on the men's room attendant, RHM, who was busy at the time insuring that each stall had a current supply of Spiderman comic books...
The emergency was believed to be caused by the traditional Easter luncheon of bean burritos which was inexplicably served in the indoor dining room instead of the outdoor nudist pavilion as required by local fire/rescue ordinances...The exhaust fans were not designed to handle the large volume of flatulence which resulted, and several poofters were treated for fart inhalation...
As the highest ranking (and rankest) official on the site, Lefty was being detained pending further investigation...Bath house chief of security, Big "Tiny" Balsac, was quoted as saying, "This guy's bound to be guilty of something anyway"...
Below Lefty is being read his rights...
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