Previous research has always shown that trouser snakes must be immersed in a dark, moist environment frequently in order to survive, but Professor Lefty of the Institute For Advanced Lesbian Studies has announced new findings to refute this theory...Dr. Lefty explains, "Evidence is beginning to emerge that indicates trouser snakes can survive dehydration for extended periods, even days"...
The professor points out that previously only eunuchs, such as his intern RHM, were in possession of trouser serpents that were used only for urination, and required no regular warm moisture source...Professor Lefty says, "My own trouser snake gets regular exposure to damp, dark places at least daily, sometimes hourly"...
New evidence now suggests that an eccentric, retired firearms dealer in the Conroe area may be in possession of an elderly, but still lively pants cobra that has survived in an arid climate with no exposure to moisture and no human contact for several years...But as the professor points out, "This is an unproven legend, and is not only previously unheard of, but very unlikely"...
Pictured below, Indian poofters try to arouse each other's trouser snakes...
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