As the long awaited day approaches for the much anticipated visit from the Holy Rolla, Father Lefty of the Temple of Our Lady of Diminished Virginity is doing all he can to prepare in the face of charges he has mismanaged the convent where the nudist lesbian nuns are housed...On reading of the incriminating evidence against Father Lefty in the Salt Lake City News, the Holy Rolla agreed to leave his conclave in the western desert where he cleanses himself daily with a purified grain nectar brewed in Colorado, and personally handle the investigation...
The charges stem from Father Lefty's practice of personally "blessing" the nuns with his staff of life during his daily sabbaticals to check their chasteness...Father Lefty is reported to sometimes "bless" them two and three at a time...As Father Lefty says, "Once I get 'em out of the habit, I can see they all have a lot of sins to atone for"...
The most egregious charges against the Father have come from evidence that he allows outside non-ordained "laymen" to "bless" the nudist nuns, but only after they have deposited a love offering in his collection plate...Father Lefty has scheduled a tour of the convent's on-premise casino during the visit and has hinted that the Holy Rolla is almost certain to be blessed at the roulette tables after the charges are dropped...
Since the convent and the temple are both on the grounds of the Hobby Airport Bath House & Poofter Emporium, officials have closed the facility to outsiders during the Holy Rolla's visit...In observation of the significance of this visit, Father Lefty has vowed to keep his staff of life wrapped in a vestment of sacramental latex for the duration...
Religion correspondent Dan managed to get this quote from an unhappy underpaid eunuch employed by the temple:
"Yea, though I walk through the valley of the Houston ship channel , I will fear no weevil: thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me" ... So sayeth Father Lefty as he pulls out his rod and shows it to the staff of the Poofter Chapel...
Pictured below, one of the lesbian nuns prepares to be blessed by the Holy Rolla...
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