Crime reporter Dan issues this timely bulletin, "Woman with fake handlebar mustache robs UT bank " ... The woman was identified by her panties tattoo'd on by Dave Grubb Panties Inc. as Bertha Bunghole, a lesbian towel person of undecided gender at the Patton Village Poofters Bath house. The fake mustache was Lefty's crotch hair piece which he wears to enhance the potato in his jock strap.
Update: Lefty has requested the return of his merkin at the end of Bertha's trial...The DA has vowed not to keep it a second longer than necessary...
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