Right Hand Man (also known simply as RHM, or "hey you numb nuts") has earned yet another accolade in the sports world...The sissyweight boxing contender was formerly known only for his exhibition bouts in the ring against gay porn stars and nude lesbian oil wrestlers, but has now stepped into the role of trainer for bisexual triathlete quadriplegic, Percival "Handlebar" Lipschitz...
Sports fans have followed the inspiring story of "Handlebar" as he overcame the loss of both arms, one ear and his tongue in a tragic accident at the Gay Olympics...The television audience watched in horror as he attempted to bring to climax simultaneously two gay sword jugglers and a lesbian contortionist from a local travelling circus, but became distracted by the antics of a towel boy who was showing off his hands-free pie-plate spinning technique for a female Hamm's beer concession operator...
After months of surgery, rehabilitation and therapy, "Handlebar" now competes in bicycling, swimming and running events as a triathlete...He steers his bike with his over-developed pecker by wrapping it around the steering shaft...Accidental losses of control due to unintended erections were eliminated by the application of a strong duct tape from one of his sponsors, Gorilla Glue...
His detractors caused some controversy by claiming "Handlebar" has an unfair advantage in the water by using his penis as a rudder while doing the kickstroke...They also claim he used his pecker to advantage as an anchor during tight turns in track events...The Gay Olympic Committee ruled his equipment usage legal as his detractors were booed out of the arena...
RHM has stepped up as his main sponsor by donating the specially constructed spandex biking shorts, swimming thong and running shorts with directional testicle pouches through his male lingerie boutique...As trainer for "Handlebar," RHM is excited to bring his sports expertise to the triathlon sport, and promises to continue his own rise in the boxing world as well as in his pants...
Pictured below is "Handlebar" in his warm-up suit...
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