Finance correspondent Dan writes:
"Customer payment information compromised at 34 Spec's stores " ... Lefty, who is entirely dependent, in addition to his Depends, on Spec's, is shocked that his payment information is compromised and may fall into enema hands.
Deeper investigation shows: Lefty's personal account was put into the hands of a collection agency decades ago...Since then his arrears have been handled by numerous agents...
Since then he has relied on the generosity of his landlord, an elderly, eccentric, retired civil engineer who rents a corrugated storage container to him and his brother, RHM...Lefty survives by sneaking an occasional sixer of Hamms and a chili burrito onto the landlord's accounts when he picks up the retiree's daily take-out orders from Spec's and Taco Bell...
Shown below is the hermetically sealed drive-up window where Lefty is mandated to pick up orders, thereby protecting employees from his noxious body odor...
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