Unsolved mystery writer Dan files this brief, "Aurora UFO crash remains a Texas illegal alien mystery" ... According to UFO chairman Lefty the illegal aliens all farted when caught by the Border Patrol. The mystery of where they got the bean burritos is still unsolved.
Late breaking update: Lefty was absolved of guilt this time as he was on record as being seen at a Houston Fire Department incident scene this afternoon...As you know, Lefty and his brother, RHM, rent a converted shipping container in the backyard of an elderly Braniff Street recluse where RHM prepares their daily meals...
Today RHM was cooking a fried baloney sandwich for their lunch when it inexplicably caught fire...Since there were no fire extinguishers nearby, RHM was forced to use Lefty's last Hamm's beer to put out the flames...The fire department wrote a citation to their landlord for having an inadequate fire suppression system, and the elderly recluse is attempting to use his influence with the City Council to negotiate a lesser bribe...
Meanwhile Lefty is inconsolable over the tragic loss of his last Hamm's...
Update to update: It's a really good week for Lefty...His therapist announced today that he has finally broken his compulsive habit of biting his toenails at the table after dinner...Now if his mom can get him to remember to put on his pants before he goes outside, he may be ready to join society again on a closely supervised limited basis...
Update to update: It's a really good week for Lefty...His therapist announced today that he has finally broken his compulsive habit of biting his toenails at the table after dinner...Now if his mom can get him to remember to put on his pants before he goes outside, he may be ready to join society again on a closely supervised limited basis...
News photo showing home damage after fire shown below...
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