Monday, September 29, 2014

EPA continues to monitor pants spill near Conroe...

http://www.yourhoustonnews.com/courier/news/epa-continues-to-monitor-denbury-oil-spill-near-conroe/article_a81fb684-e43c-5d95-af8c-3d44a2b9bc70.html

Agents from the EPA (Emergency Pants Assistants) have been dispatched to investigate a large pants spill near Conroe...Preliminary reports indicate the spill was initiated when an itinerant towel boy, whose credit was cut off at the the pay toilet facility near his home at Hobby Airport, was trying to make it to the federally funded facility for indigent poofters at Cut-n-Shoot, and could no longer prevent spillage...

An elderly retired gun dealer who witnessed the incident while on his way to the Salvation Army soup kitchen spoke on a promise of anonymity, "This tragedy could have been averted if the border guards stationed at checkpoints around Conroe had routed the poofter around the city instead of leaving their posts for lunch...It clearly shows the lack of responsibility of the Obama administration to increase security for us fixed income retirees"...

Famed underwear engineer, RHM, said that records show the towel boy's Fruit of the Looms were overdue for inspection of the mandatory blowout preventer...RHM has called for additional funding for federal skivvy inspectors...

Pictured below is an undercover federal underwear inspector on duty at the lesbian cruise liner docking area in the Houston Ship Channel...

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