Ecology correspondent Dan sends this report, "Urine-tinged water diverted to another reservoir. The city of Portland has decided not to flush millions of gallons of drinking water that might have been tainted by a teenager who urinated at a reservoir". The young lad turned out to be Lefty's houseboy who said Lefty and he had a contest to see who could sink a floating Hamm's beer can first.
Update: Laboratory testing has shown that the Lefty-tinged water has significantly improved the flavor of a particular brand of beer brewed exclusively in Golden, Colorado which, up until now, has seen only limited sales in a government liquor store located in Utah...The entire reservoir of previously condemned water has been sold to the Coors Brewing Company, and meanwhile a retired forum administrator and political analyst in Salt Lake City has begun quietly buying up all remaining stock of "original formula" Coors as a hedge against inflation...
When interviewed by EPA authorities, Lefty claimed he and his houseboy were merely trying to recreate the classic Hamm's commercial illustrated below...
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