A US Army general who lost count of his sexual encounters in clear violation of established military traditions, has reached a deal with the provost marshal's office to avoid court martial...Military officers are required to keep an accurate tally of sexual missions and skirmishes whether of a voluntary or commercial nature...
The general said he lost count during the first Gulf War due to confusion caused by the moslem dress code for women...Said the general, "I couldn't tell if I was schtuppin' a man or a woman or even a camel under those robes they wear"...
To avoid prosecution the general has agreed to voluntary remedial re-training by taking a tour of South Houston bath houses and other houses of horizontal refreshment while accompanied by Commodore (Ret.) Lefty of the Mounted Horse Marines...Comm. Lefty is known for not only keeping an accurate count of his conquests, but categorizing them by race, height, weight, gender, species and degree of consciousness...
Upon successful completion of his retraining, the general will be allowed to rejoin his unit in the Lower Bourbon Street area of New Orleans...
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