Famed South Houston entrepreneur Lefty, disgraced former towel boy, has announced the opening of his new eco-friendly bath house following his dismissal from the Hobby Airport Bath House & Poofter Emporium for renting out time at the peepholes in the lesbian locker room...Gaining a building permit under the name of his non-profit charity organization, SOAK (Someone Order Another Keg), Lefty began construction next door to his former Braniff Street employer...
Wanting to use recyclable building materials to retain his non-profit status, Lefty decided to use discarded Maersk shipping containers in his design...As he tells it, "So next to the bath house this smelly old dude has these shipping containers where he keeps his lawn tractors, and he's so old and feeble-minded he probably doesn't even remember them"...
Since he was named caretaker of the mansion in the owner's frequent absences, Lefty chose a weekend when the retired engineer was in the VA hospital with a blocked nasal passage, and held a yard sale to get rid of all the old lawn equipment and motorhomes...Says Lefty, "I raised enough money to slap a coat of K-Mart eggshell white on the walls and installed a unisex porta-potty...I even had enough left over for a sixer of Hamm's"...
Lefty also recycled an abandoned "plywood pond" located on the mansion's grounds, and will convert it to a temporary hot tub...Theorizing that plywood burns and fire will heat the water in the pond, Lefty expects to use it until his shipment of 55 gallon steel drums arrives...Lefty explains, "Hey as long as these homos are wet and horny, they won't even notice the temperature"...
Shown below is Lefty's prototype portable design, submitted for approval by the Hobby Airport Building Authority...
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