Closely placed sources indicate that the government has shown interest in Lefty's skivvies for use as a heat shield on the next generation of space shuttles...Theorizing that they can stand up (literally) under the constant emission bombardment that results from Lefty's Taco Bell bean burrito and Hamm's beer diet for months at a time, scientists have gathered several examples for study at the Jet Propulsion Laboratory facility at Groom Lake, Nevada...
Charles Barkley Industries has also expressed interest...In the included picture, Mr. Barkley's Mom is seen displaying the latest Nomex-lined Fruit-of-the-Looms which resist the gas produced by his Mom's soul food recipes, but unfortunately cause an embarrassing rash in the locker room...
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