Gov't spy drones unable to locate Lefty...

Panic ensued briefly among the surveillance community yesterday as government-operated unmanned aerial vehicles were unable to track the whereabouts of Lefty...As we all know, Lefty's location must be continually tracked in order to ensure ample warning for church congregations, unwed mothers homes and high school cheerleader camps to provide ample protection for their charges...

As it turns out, fashionista Lefty had donned his latest anti-tracking device, the anti-drone hoodie: http://www.guardian.co.uk/artanddesign/2013/mar/31/anti-drone-hoodie-big-brother

Fortunately, the automatic Lefty sensing equipment switched to aroma mode, and Lefty's unique odor quickly located him...Lefty is said to be working on a "stealth tutu" accessory to be worn around the waist to hide his frontal appendage and aft emissions portal from government sensors also...Emergency legislation is working its way through Congress designed to prevent public deployment of such dangerous "Lefty cloaking devices"...

More Government & Military articles...