Part-time towel boy and full time STD clinic assistant, Lefty, has developed his keen sense of smell into a potential moneymaker...During the course of his duties in picking up the wet towels from the marble benches at the Hobby Airport Bath House & Poofter Emporium, Lefty found he could gather much information about his clientele just from smelling the towels they were sitting on...
Says Lefty, "Give me one whiff of a towel after one of these fat poofters gets his lard butt off it, and I can tell you what he had for breakfast, what kind of car he drives and how much money is in his wallet"...
At first Lefty used his unusual talent to augment his income by pilfering the lockers of those clients who were frolicking joyfully in the steam rooms...However upon sneaking into the backstage area of a local theater to avoid a police warrant roundup, Lefty became acquainted with a lesbian performance artist, Tizzie Twattwister...Tizzie is famous for producing new-age music from inflated douchebags, and combined this with Lefty's ability to identify the user of the bag by inhaling the escaping vapors...
The resulting performance wowed the Montrose area theater critics in the audience, and cinched Lefty's and Tizzie's place in the poofter art world...When asked by this reporter why the bath house patrons are always required to sit on a towel, Lefty answered, "When these fat, naked poofters all sit down at one time on a marble bench without the towels, it sounds like a round of applause..."
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