Dr. Tchytz of the Hobby Airport Clinic & Sex Reassignment Surgery Center reports he has successfully reattached a severed buttock lost in a tragic bath house accident to an unnamed towel boy...The towel boy had hastily shut a poofter client's locker door and his buttock became entangled when the client returned from his shower before expected...
The towel boy had to leave hurriedly to avoid accusations of pilferage, and in the steam-filled confusion his buttock was left dangling from the locker door hinge...Since the bath house only provides basic Parkercare medical insurance for poofters, Dr. Tchytz was only able to attach the buttock to the patient's forehead with a loose basting stitch...
As Dr. Tchytz explains, "With only one buttock to sit on, he'll need a prosthetic marble bench in the steam room, but on the plus side he won't have to reach as far when he needs to scratch his butt"...Dr. Tchytz also says this points up the need for supplemental insurance for poofters using basic Parkercare...
The unnamed towel boy, whose name we have learned is Lefty, is pictured below recovering from his surgery with Nurse Paula of the Hobby Airport Clinic...Nurse Paula commented on how much more attractive Lefty is after the operation...
Update: Whistleblower Dan files this angry grievance,"Lefty objects to your blatant, unprovoked stereotyping of him...The original article did not mention the victim's name, only that he is a towel boy...Dr. Tchytz's records only identify him as Patient 'L' (next of kin: RHM).."
Publisher's apology: Dan is, of course, correct, and on behalf of the entire staff of this news service, we wish to extend our heartfelt condolences and deep apologies to RHM and his extended family for the degradation and humiliation they have long suffered by being related to Lefty...
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