Business and finance correspondent Dan files this timely report, "As you know, Lefty has embarked on his new business venture 'Twat-A-Burger' , and is counting on loyal investors like you and Dave Grubb to buy franchises. I, myself, as you know, was heavily invested in Lefty's last business venture, the 'Beaver Balm' tonic for the ladies. Unfortunately, thugs from Lydia Pinkham Corp. beat up mix-master RHM and stole all the fixings, which reportedly were bought by WD-40 Corp. As a sportsman who has used both WD-40 and Dri-Slide on tight ladies, I thought Beaver Balm would find a niche ,or slot or whatever, in the marketplace, especially with it's slogan 'Tighter on the peter and sweeter on the eater'...".
Update: Dave Grubb was all set to sell off his Allis-Chalmers preferred stock to buy a franchise until he found out the contracts had been drawn up by Mr. C.N. Spitt, Esq., with whom he has a long standing personal feud...It seems when Dave was being discharged from the Army he had brought home a Korean hostess who used to serve him coffee and donuts in his foxhole, and a young MP discovered her in Dave's duffel bag at customs inspection...The MP used this incident to springboard into his career as a successful attorney and Alabama pig farmer...
Having thus been disgraced by Spitt, Dave had to work for years to overcome his embarrassing reputation among other Pennsylvania tractor mechanics and birdhouse engineers...Lefty tried to convince Dave the investment was sound, but due to contractual obligations with Mr. Spitt (he still has an outstanding debt from a previous bail bond release) he was unable to land this lucrative business...
Photo below courtesy of the Dave Grubb collection...
Photo below courtesy of the Dave Grubb collection...
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