Editorial integrity challenge...

Editorial commentator Dan files this timely post for clarification, "It has been called to my attention, by Lefty, that you possibly are making up incidents about Lefty in certain spots, of which Lefty's laundry has noted cannot be removed from his undergrammars. Such, as you know, is cause for a lawsuit over liability on his unionsuit. Lefty also claims entrapment in your comments, over his 13-button trapdoor in his long-john unionsuit.  As a first-responder in any crisis, Lefty claims you put a potato in the rear of his responder causing bystanders to have Walmart security take him to the Mens Room for de-briefing, after which his briefs were confiscated due to non-constipation conspiracy, similar to the green apple quicksteps, in evidence."

In answer to these ridiculous charges: In the first place, no one's imagination could possibly make up incidents that are any stranger than those from Lefty's real life...Secondly, Lefty likes to save money by not changing his underdrawers until the prison laundry is forced to take them (usually 3-4 weeks between visits)...And thirdly, since Lefty's attorney-of-record, the Cascade Kitchen Counselor, succeeded in getting her cell moved next to Lefty's for better access to his briefs, it has become far too easy for him to file frivolous lawsuits like this one...

Lefty's shift steward, as his unionsuit representative, is threatening to resign as he has to clock out to investigate his grievances, thereby losing valuable hours from his floorsweeper position...In addition, he has filed his own grievance against Lefty since Lefty replaced his usual potatoes with cheaper 1015 onions on sale at Krogers...The steward says the onions are a welcome smell over Lefty's usual odors, but the tears they cause make the steward's wife think he's unhappy, resulting in marital discomfort for both...

Additionally, Lefty's allegations against WalMart security personnel were dismissed by the judge who ruled that aggressive force against Lefty is not only necessary, but desirable and encouraged...Next case please...

Pictured below is a condemned prisoner, with nothing left to live for volunteering to handle Lefty's laundry, in the hope of an extra half-hour TV time per week...

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