49ers coach, Jim Harbaugh, has released the following press release in an attempt to quell the controversy surrounding his pants, "So I've got this weird cousin who lives near an airport in Houston, and since we both live in a town surrounded by poofters, we sometimes get together and swap stories"...
Harbaugh said since their male family members naturally have metrosexual looks and appearance, they are constantly approached by gays hoping for a date...He said his cousin has found that gays have an aversion to cheap WalMart pants, and since he started wearing them the gays quit asking him out...
Says Harbaugh, "My Houston cousin even lives next door to a poofter bath house, and they go out of their way to avoid him when he wears the WalMart pants...Of course it might also have something to do with the bath house towel boy that Cousin Dan rents a room to...He says that guy smells so bad, everybody avoids him"...
Update: Investigative reporter Dan says after close examination of known facts, he finds no truth in the allegations, and resents the implication...
In the photo below taken from Dan's online profile, he is seen shopping for new skinny jeans at WalMart...
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