In an unusual move, controversial entertainer Britney Spears has filed for residency in Las Vegas and begun studies for acceptance by the Mormon church...The star has been seen being picked up for her studies by a mysterious cloaked figure in a pink Volvo bearing Utah license plates...Further investigation shows the car is registered to a little known sect of the Mormons called the Temple of Our Lady of Diminished Virginity...
This branch of the church is known to still practice polygamy and the cloaked figure has been seen elsewhere in Las Vegas with several beautiful women all wearing wedding bands who stay closely to him while walking two steps behind him...Investigative reporter, Lefty, who is familiar with the sect from his series of stories about nudist nuns in a cloistered convent near the Hobby Airport area, has been assigned to write of this development...
Lefty reports that the figure, who is referred to as "Father X," has been quietly buying up distributorships of a particular grain nectar brewed only in central Colorado...The nectar is said to be used in ritual blessings by the cult, and Father X is known to ask his own blessings several dozen times per day...
Ms. Spears' role in this cult's new direction is unclear, but may be linked to the sudden buying of real estate in the Moab Desert reachable only by Jeep trails...Lefty has vowed to uncover the truth in this developing story if he has to visit every topless bar and nudist colony in the state...
Ms. Spears is pictured below waiting quietly for her religious instructor in his pink Volvo (pictured separately)...
My life's desire is that Brit Brit will one day take a long soak in a tub of Coors and then allow me the pleasure of drinking it all. Heck - we all need goals to keep us going. - UTAH Bill
ReplyDeleteSounds like a great idea for a new reality show...
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