"The poofter king's remains were thought to have been buried in an unmarked grave, but a petrified pecker now on display at Hobby Airport Museum is believed to be his"...
Professor Lefty of the Institute for Advanced Lesbian Studies has announced the finding of new evidence supporting theories about the mythical "Poofter King" of the ancient Hobby Airport area...Says Prof. Lefty, "Legend has always said that King Alfred was a 'catcher,' and judging from the size of his diminutive protuberance he could never have been a 'pitcher' "...
The announcement was made as Prof. Lefty and his team of archaeological engineers were excavating the backyard of a local retired CIA pilot for an underground "plywood pond"...The petrified pecker was found in a crate of antique, non-returnable Hamms beer bottles known to be a favorite of King Alfred...
Prof. Lefty added, "The smelly dude that owns this property is old enough to have been there with King Alfred, but he claims he was supervising construction of an early submarine for George Washington's revolutionary navy at the time"...
Pictured below is Prof. Lefty's conception of part of the mummification process used in the Poofter King's era...
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