Dr. Lefty of the Lesbian Propulsion Laboratory reports new findings from his study of the pilates class at the YWCA down the street from his observatory at the Hobby Airport Bath House & Poofter Emporium...His newly installed powerful Tasco telescope has enabled him to more closely study the movements of the overweight lesbians in the exercise rooms...
Says Dr. Lefty, "This new telescope lets me home in much closer than the old Bounty paper towel roll I was using before...I can see their asteroids and everything!"...Dr. Lefty said he made the investment in the new equipment after being informed that the lesbian classes would begin to be held in the nude...
His most astounding observation to date has been the watery vapors that seem to be emanating from the chief instructor whose name is Ceres...Her students refer to her as a "planet" since she is large and round, and the exercising students all revolve around her...
Dr. Lefty adds, "As Ceres starts to get sweaty from all the exercise, I can see this watery vapor escape her body now and then...It seems to occur more if she has green chili burritos for lunch"...Dr. Lefty has announced his intention to study the phenomenon more closely if his duties as head towel boy don't interfere with his scientific endeavors...
Dr. Lefty further notes that since Ceres is a dwarf as well as a lesbian, he believes the cost of his telescope, newly acquired from a local pawn shop, may qualify for reimbursement under the Gay Americans With Disabilities Act...
Update: Dr. Lefty also notes guard duty at the lesbian classes have been assumed by off-duty Precinct 0 Deputy Dumpy Bunny of Montgomery County...The diminutive midget lesbian is particularly difficult to evade for Lefty as his center of attention is at her eye level...
Dr. Lefty painfully recalls his first encounter with Deputy Bunny in a traffic stop (seen in dashcam footage below) in which he jokingly offered to compare guns with her...
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