Lefty's brother, Squatty, loses his virginity...

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/12/19/gregg-casarona_n_4474746.html?utm_hp_ref=mostpopular

In a vain attempt to follow in his brother Lefty's footsteps and be the object of desire for women everywhere, Squatty had his first romantic interlude with his girlfriend of five minutes, Priscilla Pinchloaf, whom he met online at FirstYourMoneyThenYourClothes.com...Not being a physics major, Squatty didn't realize the effect of weight when applied to the motions associated with lovemaking...

As it turned out, Squatty's 440 pounds had an adverse effect on Priscilla's backbone, especially considering the place chosen for their tryst was the diaper changing station in the unisex restroom at WalMart...Priscilla is expected to recover from her injuries, although she reports she will begin charging by the pound instead of the minute...

When told of his brother's first union with a woman, Lefty said, "He shoulda broke his cherry back when he weighed 200"...When reminded Squatty hadn't weighed 200 pounds since he was five years old, Lefty replied, "And your point?"...

Priscilla is pictured below leaving the hospital with her new boyfriend whom she met in the ambulance...

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