Foul play has been ruled out in the death, although a lingering foul odor may have played a part...Witnesses have testified that a visiting towel boy on a cultural exchange program from Houston was seen exiting the toilet shortly before the deceased entered...
Detectives interviewed the towel boy from a safe distance through a loudspeaker system, and found that he had eaten his lunch from a street taco vendor, and may not have been familiar with the ingredients in New York burritos...The unnamed towel boy, identified only as "Lefty," said he usually eats from the same menu at home, but experienced unusually strong gastric disturbances before returning to his bath house duties...
Said "Lefty" in a press release, "I guess I shoulda opened a window when I was through, but I didn't know these yankee poofters had such weak noses...The guy even croaked before he tipped me"...
Corrections & Apologies Editor Dan files this update on behalf of Lefty,
"Lefty. noting this attempt to besmirch his otherwise spotless, except for skid marks, reputation, now claims he didn't know this which calls itself ‘New York’s premier social relaxation club for gay and bisexual men.’ wasn't part of Wal-Mart that he went into to refresh his Depends. He thought the dead man on the toilet was a store mannequin put there to advertise Wal-Mart's new 'Non-Skid/Puncture-Proof' toilet paper."
Update: A retired civil engineer and Air America pilot who lives around the corner from the club, pointed out that the club is next door to Taco Bell, and is a few doors down from Home Depot...
“I am shocked there is a bath house around the corner from me,” he said. “It’s a strange block.”
“It’s on the same block as Spec's Liquors,” he added. “They should move away from the liquor store"...
The local coroner, whose office is too busy to process the incident right away, ordered CSI technicians to put the entire crime scene in cold storage, as pictured below...
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