Light Colonel (light in the loafers) Lefty of the Mounted Horse Marines regrets to announce the cancellation of the gala "Salute to Poofter Veterans" scheduled for Veterans Day at the Hobby Airport Bath House & Poofter Emporium...The specially choreographed conclusion was to feature all poofters rising from the marble benches in the hot tub auditorium while removing their white towels from their poles and waving them over their heads in celebration of the removal of the "Don't Ask/Don't Tell" policy from the US military...
As it turns out, waving a white towel is a classified French military tactic the act of which is restricted to the French army and navy by international law...UN peacekeepers wearing blue helmets and codpieces will be stationed inside the bath house to prevent giving away any French military secrets...
Colonel Lefty vows an immediate probe to get to the bottom of this scandal...
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