Seeing an opportunity to expand the Church of Our Lady of Diminished Virginity, as well as expanding the collection plate and love offerings, Father Lefty has announced the opening of a poofter wedding chapel in London named Pick-a-Dildo Circus...The recent announcement of sanctioned same-sex marriage laws requires churches to "opt in" to such proceedings and few religions have stepped forward so far...
In a press release, Father Lefty says: "If these limey homos want to marry each other, I'm all for it as long as they've got the bucks...And for the lesbians wanting to get hitched, we'll offer a hot tub at no extra cost...Of course, since I'm a certified lifeguard I'll have to be in the tub with them..."
The only stumbling block seems to be the several outstanding bench warrants waiting for Father Lefty in English courts to answer charges of wig tampering, pickpocketing, unauthorized use of a wheelchair and wanton brigandry...Father Lefty's team of international attorneys, led by Mr. C. N. Spitt, Esq. and the Cascade Kitchen Counselor, feel confident they'll find a British court willing to accept the customary bribes in bath house gift certificates...
In this undated press photo, a happy couple walks from the chapel to the hot tub, while Father Lefty defrocks himself for lifeguard duty...
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