Lefty's long-time Conroe girlfriend, Prunella Pinchloaf, has been arrested in WalMart for allegedly shoplifting 14 packages of Charmin Jumbo Ultra concealed between rolls of fat...Ms. Pinchloaf explained to arresting officers, "My welfare check only goes so far and Lefty uses at least eight rolls of Charmin every day...It's hard for a working girl to make ends meet without stealing"...
Calls to Lefty at the local bath house were not returned...Non-deductible contributions for Ms. Pinchloaf's bail may be left at Swifty's All Night Bail Bond & Repo Service...
Seen below is Ms. Pinchloaf's mug shot, of which she ordered extra prints since it was so flattering...
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