Cocktail party news...

Society news editor, Dan, has filed this report, "Lefty has been suspended from his duties as 'Jr. Towel-Boy-In-Training' at Houston Mayor Parker's Lesbian Lounge Steam Bath for trying to get the patrons to play 'Pick-Up-The-Soap'..."

Update: Further investigation indicates Lefty was only invited to the mayor's party because he was bringing samples of a new product for which he is the exclusive Hobby Airport area distributor...The booze (which Lefty has renamed "Pussy Liquor") is listed as "vegan friendly"...Lefty (who has a well documented problem with spelling) told the mayor it is "vagina friendly" upon which the mayor ordered 65 cases to be paid for from the city's burgeoning drainage fee coffers...

The soap dropping incident is being defended by Lefty's attorney-of-record, the Cascade Kitchen Counselor, as a misinterpretation of Lefty's attempt as a first responder to help an overweight lesbian guest to regain her footing...She had slipped on an open tube of Astroglide personal lubricant which Lefty always carries in case of unexpected tight spots...She also said Lefty has a prescription from Dr. Tchytz for edible undies in order to keep his blood glucose levels from becoming too low...

Pictured here is the suspected source for Lefty's "Pussy Liquor"...

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