July 4th accident...

Highway safety correspondent Dan reports, "Lefty rides with the Patton Village Bikers gang and there was that accident today when a semi ran into a lady biker and torn all her clothes off. Several other bikers was laying around injured. Lefty, noticing the lady biker's beaver was laying there bare, took off his helmet with goggles on it and placed it over her pubic area.  The EMTs arrived and got busy tending to the injured bikers. Lefty, always the gentleman, showed them the lady biker and said "Do something."  The EMT said "We can probably save her, but the guy in the helmet is probably too far gone."

Update: The first responders turned out to be the Fast Action Response Team (FART) from nearby Roman Forest...Body Identification lasted until the twilight hours as Lefty stayed to help with the scattered body parts...Well after dusk, a worker brought a severed head to Lefty for identity help...Lefty picked up the head by the ears, held it up to the nearby streetlamp, and said, "Well, it looks like old Pancho, except I don't remember Pancho being that tall..."

Pictured below is one of the unfortunate victims, identified by Lefty as Mr. Richard Head...

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