Lefty testifies at reservation naming council...

http://www.nativetimes.com/culture/8614-panel-offensive-names-on-reservation-should-go

Infuriated at the loss of historical Native American names, Lefty will testify before the Hackasaw Tribe Council attempting to change the name of the famous Squaw Humper Creek, where General Custer's horse attempted an out of court settlement with the Sioux chief's squaw, Kneeling Pussy Willow, before the scheduled card game at Little Big Horn between 7th Cavalry and the Sioux Dog Soldiers...

The attempt at a peace settlement failed when Chief Shatting Bull was accused of hiding a fifth ace in his war bonnet...The melee after the card game resulted in brief incarceration for Lefty, but charges are likely to be dropped before Lefty's pants are dropped by his new cellmate over a dispute in evidentiary procedure...

The squaw's merkin, deemed central to the prosecution's case, is being held as in cahootus by the tribe's legal counselor and wampum exchange minister...Since it cannot be used in evidence against Lefty without pre-trial fumigation, and no industrial cleaning service will get near it, Lefty's charges have been reduced to overtime parking...Not having the $2.50 to pay his fine, Lefty was alternatively sentenced to community service replanting the grass in the tribe's buffalo wallow...

The rest is history except  for the bouncing baby colt delivered by Kneeling Pussy Willow 9 months and 10 minutes after leaving Squaw Humper Creek...

Seen below, President Obama signs extradition order remanding Lefty to tribal family court...

More Police & Court articles...