Lefty to duplicate daring feat...

Lefty, always up for a challenge, has announced he will duplicate Jean-Claude VanDamme's amazing stunt of doing a split between two backward rolling Volvo trucks...Lefty will make his attempt by standing on the dump levers of two BFI garbage collection trucks as they roll backward to their dumping positions at an East Harris County landfill...The two trucks will come to a stop positioning Lefty, who will be nude for this event, over a Porta-Potty placed through the courtesy of Portacans of Houston in case of accidental discharge...

Lefty's sponsors, Taco Bell and RHM Male Lingerie of Pasadena, are confident that the two trucks, and Lefty, will all dump their loads with precision timing...As required by the EPA in high risk stunts by Lefty, hazmat crews will be standing by in the event of emergency...

Update: Event coordinator Dan, who served as witness for the Guinness Book, describes what happened, "Unfortunately, when Lefty was doing the crotch-splits going down the road between the two BFI trucks, a telephone company truck with a hi-lift man-bucket on it tried to go between the two trucks. But, as the news reporter said "It takes balls to do that" and the score was minus-two on Lefty."

Update 2: Fortunately, Lefty (who was very visibly excited at the moment) managed to snag a roll of phone company copper wire on his protuberance at the time of his unfortunate loss...At the current price of copper, he may be able to cover part of the deductible on his bill at the Testicle Restoration Clinic...

Update 3: Good news for Lefty...Dr. Tchytz just finished inventory at his day job at the Almeda-Genoa Sex Change Clinic & Shishkabob Cafe, and he reports a good selection of low mileage, slightly used testicles (some human) from which Lefty can make his choice...

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