Friday, September 19, 2014

Liquor store fart ruled accidental...


Air quality hazmat teams were called into action today as a potentially deadly fart was reported inside Spec's Liquor Store...Tragedy was averted as it turned out to be merely a whiff from a Mercury Villager driven by an elderly man at the drive-through window...

Speaking on a promise of anonymity Spec's manager, Dave Grubb, said, "The old dude's a regular...We don't let him in the store anymore for obvious reasons, but he's here at the drive-through every day at noon to pick up a sixpack of Corona Extra on his way home from the C & D Burger Shoppe"...

Following the all-clear signal from air quality officials, patrons and employees inside the store were treated for fart inhalation as a precautionary measure...

Business reporter Dan files this update, "However, the Jiffy-Lube next to the drive-in window has complained that some noxious fumes are blowing into their service bays and customers are going elsewhere."

Depicted below, an alert photographer captured the scene of panic before being overcome by the fumes...

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