In a related incident, the New Caney Lesbian Protective League was also the recent victim of copper thieves funding their recreational meth purchases by stealing air conditioners and copper wiring used for powering ventilation systems...The NCLPL was forced to cancel their scheduled fund-raiser as their un-air conditioned building was unbearably hot although all attendees were practicing nudists...
The problem was exacerbated by Lefty's unwashed presence which resulted in the cancellation of the auction for Dave Grubb's tractor convention memorabilia, generously donated by Mrs. Grubb who was tired of seeing it piled up on the furniture...
Lefty was videotaping the BBQ event as an episode of "The Naked Chef" and was again painfully reminded that it is impossible to flip eggs in three skillets at once no matter how much duct tape is used...
Update: As it turned out the hapless thief committed his crime in a jurisdiction where police are equipped with pursuit mini-bikes (shown below), and he was quickly brought to justice...
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